james and ashley's wedding...

was short, sweet, and fun.

I have been to a moderate amount of weddings this year... 3? I'm getting a clearer picture of what I think i would like at my ceremony and reception. I've never been one of those "PLAN" your wedding when you're 3 years old type of girl. But I got to admit, the more I go, the more I envision. That aside, it's absolutely much more fun to go to a wedding where you are both friends with the bride and the groom (duh), where you sit at a table filled with your closest friends (double duh), and where you can take a gazillion photobooth pictures.

treehouse morning praise was such a blessed time! I really have been so edified. This weekend was my first time practicing with the band, "leading" them. Beyond the x factor of playing with a full band again, I had so much fun just jiving to the energy that naturally arose out of us. I have told several people so far (with too much maternal pride I think), we were able to make up movements to a new song in 10 minutes and make it FLY the next day. Ah, I am already in love with my band.

one year ago, this very month. I was home. hahaha. I was in between jobs (shin --> YH). I had no close knit community. No real sense of home beyond the four corners of my little apartment room.

but now? see here... I live with 3 close friends. I have a living relationship with my God. I am serving in new and awesome capacities at COS. I have no career and no money, but I have SO MUCH. In Los Angeles. In Fremont. Everywhere. So much so, that I complain and whine about being torn from one home to another. An embarrassment of riches.

In a way, 2010 has been one of the toughest years of my life. Coming into grips with some of the deepest issues within me. Being stripped bare of my financial and personal savings (literally). Losing my grandfather. So humbling. So broken. So empty. But that's not what this past year was about.

2010 has been about RECEIVING. Receiving the holy spirit. Receiving a community. Receiving opportunities. Receiving the ability to RECOGNIZE truths and perspective in my life. It hasn't been easy, always being on the receiving end. My pride, my sense of inadequacy. but I'm also realizing that God wants me to feel worthy of it all. He is slowly but surely taking down 25 years worth of "YOU ARE NOT GOOD ENOUGH" in me. I am being filled with HIS goodness. and yes, after a year's worth of receiving from the LORD, I am greedy for more. Somehow, I don't see that as a bad thing.

18 days left. Oh Lord, let your sweet mercies rain on and on!!!