January 2012

Happy New Year!

For the past 3 or 4 years, I've been convinced that one of the most overrated holidays (the most would be Columbus Day. Sorry, but yeah, the Mayflower trumps your happy accident, Chris) is New Years Eve. Of all days to drink oneself to oblivion, why do it the last day of the year, during the bridge in between what was yesterday and what is tomorrow. In fact, the significance was again lost on me this past year (meaning yesterday). Really, what is the difference in a year when all it takes is a second to define it? What, in the overall scheme of things really differentiates 2011 from 2012 besides thinking that it is? True the roman sun calendar, blah blah blah, but in the end, is there really a difference between one day to another? one week? one month? one year? human history is only defined by time as reference, no? Not as some sort of guide of what to expect?

Hm, I guess this could go in all sorts of directions. But the one I want to take has to do with this: New Years Eve 2011 was a significant day. For the first time in a long time, I felt like celebrating the end of what had been an incredibly taxing, life-changing, fulfilling, difficult, memorable year. I felt like rejoicing in the fact that I had survived. It's not new to feel excited about what the new year might hold, or what potential adventures await the untraveled. But, it was new to want to say to myself, "Jan, you've done it. You've finally finished a year as strong as you started it." Maybe not in terms of consistancy in my prayer life. Maybe not so well off financially. But I am stronger than I was when I began 2011. More resilient. More wise. A little more cynnical, but less naively idealistic. More patient, or willing to be. More loving. Just more. A little bit more.

I spent the night with a community of believers that I did not know. Well hardly. The random mix included friends that I'd known, but hardly, from jr high and on. A couple, I knew very well indeed. But overall, I was struck again by the sense of being surrounded by God's presence. In fact, that was the theme of 2011. God's presence. God's guidance. Being taken to places I did not see. Trusting in Him blindly. Knowing that despite my inadequacies, my iniquities, the Lord was in control, using me, working through me, around me, in me, with me. My best friend, my partner, my Lord. Yes, I am SO thankful for the gracious people in my life who have blessed me with their friendship. Yes, my family means the world to me. But, in the end, my stronghold and root is my saviour and King, CHRIST, GOD.

2012, 1. 1 was a turbulent day. I can honestly say I was challenged today more than others to love on God's people. I vowed that I would give thanks to the Lord once a day, every day this year. I also promised Him that I would be open to change. I did not know that I'd be given opportunities to do and be so immediately; but again, I shall place significance in even the slightest open window:

God, thank you. Thank you for being YOU.

Here's to 2012. May your blessings be abundant, may I be an abundant source of blessing to You.