back on track...

on the gym regiment. i took a week long break and that... is just too dangerous. phantom voices from fatty-wobbly-bits-equals-her-ass-Jan whispering, "heyyy, youuu, all that alcohol and pizza slices and sausages and from the weekend??? it's alllll worth the wobbly bits.... we misss you jan! come back, come back, come back!"


oaf.

this picture has been motivating...


ana ivanovic. world's no. 1 female tennis player. life is so unfair. 6 feet tall, the face of Rolex watches, obviously talented... and cover girl of FHM. ack. it's enough to send "wobbly-fat-ass-jan" screaming away in shame. hence... day 2 back on the regiment.

that being said... sigh*... i have news for the 3 people who read this.
i've pushed back my move-down date to LA. Amy Lee, if you're reading this, slap me now.

however, it's for a good reason... i'm flat broke. i am. and i have to re-save up money before I feel comfortable enough to go down and become broke again. i've been pondering over it... the main problem being that I've been so convicted in my decision to get this whole career started and yet, i'm afraid that well, i'm afraid to go down. i've been struggling with the thoughts that argue, "hey, money is just a fat lame excuse (just like your ass used to be) for pushing back your plans. your'e just scared of failure! of getting out of your comfort zone! of reazling that your dreams could NEVER be fully realized!"

but then, i was thinking... well... two-folds. one. i'm pushing back one month for 2 months worth of pay (technical details, ask me later~)... and two. hey, if that was the case, then pushing back the move... even if it was 2 weeks... would be a relief... and not a struggle.

so. end of september it is. and REALLY no excuse there. and just because i am staying here longer, i'm setting a last and final goal (besides the ongoing saving money/getting fit plan/helping out at Logos/gaining confidence/GOOD TIMES): to conquer Phantom C. ONCE AND FOR ALL. <--this will require prayer. and medicine. and good doctors. amen, amen.

speaking of health... my parents are convinced that i'm anorexic. just because i don't eat rice. there used to be a time where they would tell me to stop eating... and now... the opposite. I'M NOT ANOREXIC. I'm Gymorexic and anti-white-rice-carbs/pro-lean-meat-protein. thanks. there's a difference.


and finally-- this will make me sound really stuck up, but i don't care, let me have my "Mean Girls" moment... aherm. i feel vindicated. why? because one of those "boy that was cool and cute in high school hits on girl that was not as cool or cute in high school" happened to me this past weekend. and it felt GOOOOOD to leave him hanging. :) i feel just like Monica when she meets Chip again. me? a stuck up player? oh no. just lame... and cuter than back in high school :) :) :)