it's 10:45 PM on a Saturday Night... Valentine's Day no less... and I am all alone, sitting in front of my computer, blogging to the rhythm of my jaws chomping on Skittles...
While everyone else is out celebrating the fact that they are in LOVE, or maybe, that they THINK they're in love... I am here, tasting away the rainbow, going through emotions of pathetic - aw - alone - again - on - Vday - loneliness, and WHEW- THANK - GOD - I'M - SINGLE - Gratefulness.
The point is, regardless of whether or not I am single or part of a couple, I am always ANXIOUS about this Day.
Myabe it makes sense. that I am stressed out by this day.... because I am, as the world knows by now, utterly afraid to COMMIT to anything, even a favorite Skittle flavor. Maybe it doesn't, because my openness to dating all sorts of men, has resembled Jesus' acceptance of Tax collectors and hookers and thus would point to a streak of LOVE ONE AND ALL, AMOR AMOR~.
bottom-line... Today, like the other 22 years of my life (last year was a brief and sweet exception)... I was alone.
GRANTED. I spent a lovely dinner with other singles... who reminded me that being single has NOTHING to do with how attractive/desireable one is. In fact, after all the drama, I am TOTALLY content with not being attached to anyone of the male species.
However, today, like all "holidays" (WHY OH WHY IS TODAY A HOLIDAY??), is about being WITH someone...a sole invite of celebration to those who UNDERSTAND what it means to LOVE someone...
which is what brings me to the question of... When will I ever learn?
anxious. see?
...
EH, at this point, NO THANK YOU. I'll dodge THAT bullet. :)
Happy Valentine's Day you "enlightened" bums! Maybe you'll be lucky enough for me to join you next year!
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