From time to time...

I rediscover parts of myself that I've forgotten along the road. I mean 24 doesn't seem too large of a map of a life to have diverged into so many different detours and routes... but whenever I am reacquainted with the reveries of my past journeys, I am hit with a wave of "wait, that was me? How did I end up here?"

It's like this weekend, Nate was sick and congested. and we talked about that 3 seconds of nasal clarity that happens out of the blue... where we can all of a sudden SMELL AND TASTE again..... and then 3 seconds later, it's gone and we're back to breathing only through our mouths.

I usually get these moments of "LIFE" clarity whenever I go back home... or whenever I look at pictures of Boston or Australia.... or hear my old orchestra CDs... I just am overwhelmed with the realization that I actually went through these experiences... that it wasn't just someone else...and they've all somehow played a key into the tune that I'm playing today.

I marvel a bit. sometimes at the great distances between how i felt and carried myself back then and how i do so now. sometimes at the shocking parallels and ironies of the way things turned out. and sometimes at the tragedy that is of some potentially amazing turns in life that I turned my back on.

and unbelievably, for about three seconds, I feel like I have, just a tiny microscopic bit, of God's PERSPECTIVE.

and sure enough... that bit of clarity... alludes me until the next time it decides to whallop me in the face.

Happy Easter everyone~!


***

I'm sentimental
So I walk in the rain
I've got some habits
That I can't explain
Could start for the corner
Turn up in Spain
Why try to change me now
I sit and daydream
I've got daydreams galore
Cigarette ashes
There they go on the floor
I go away weekends
And leave my keys in the door
But why try to change me now
Why can't I be more conventional
People talk
People stare
So I try
But that's not for me
Cuz I can't see
My kind of crazy world
Go passing me by
So let people wonder
Let 'em laugh
Let 'em frown
You know I'll love you
Till the moon's upside down
Don't you remember
I was always your clown
Why try to change me now
Don't you remember
I was always your clown
Why try to change me
Why try to change me now