I don't want to ...

lose sight of why I'm here.

on this earth. in LA.

my life has been such a contrast since I've started working at Shin. I used to have so much leftover time that I could not STOP thinking of the reasons why I had moved down to LA... the reasons why I was pursuing acting and if that was really God's purpose for me. I could NOT stop doubting myself, wondering if this really was the path I was supposed to take... I was second guessing my own motivations and desires, and of course, the convictions that I had been devoted to as being God given.

Now that I've started my stint as a waitress, I find myself at complete opposite ends from where I was at a little over a month ago. I find myself at a lack for time to even BEGIN thinking about why I'm here... about why I needed this job to stay in LA... about my passions, my motivations, and my goals... about my conviction that this job was God given to encourage and affirm my previously held beliefs about God given purpose and passions.

It just goes to show that too much time, too little time, doesn't matter. I have to MAKE TIME for God. and MAKE time to pray and seek Him. It's rather cliche... and really repetetive. Why am I so unoriginal and backwards?


My goals for April were met through this job. Well, considering that my goals consisted of one thing: finding a job. and NOW, well, I've got another goal for May = a PLAN. for my career. now that I can afford life, I'm going to try to afford my dreams. and OF COURSE, that is going to have to be backed up by some serious time management for Jesus.

I need to stop being such a pushover to this world.