YAY area~

I almost feel like this is part two of my bff's blog ~ check it out for some well needed dose of cockroach love.


My trip home, after 2 months of SoCal 90 degree/shin bbq slave/dream consumed life, was a breath of...literally, fresh air. There is nothing like the wide expanse of the, count'em, 5 LANES on 880N after being cooped up on the 101, 5, and the windy lanes of 152. and then, the familiar street lights... that beloved bev mo... the dependable PROTECTED left turn... the family friendly suburbs of "downtown" fremont... and the echoes and rings of three dogs barking as I turn the door knob and let myself in.

HOME.

It's weird... maybe it's because I hadn't been home in "so long." or maybe because Gayoung is gonna leave for korea. but every minute seemed to go by too fast... every hour seemed too...precious (?)... even if that hour was spent being a cushion for three white malteses.

NOT that I did anything amazing... the usual... eating and hanging out with mama and papa lim... lolling around with the pups... OH, setting up and COMPLETELY OVERUSING the new HOME KAREOKE SYSTEM!!!! (WOOOOT!!! NO MORE BEING BARGED IN BY MAMA SUH AT ALLEN'S HOUSE NAD FEELING STUPID!!!) ~ and Logos church time.

I guess it just seemed like... the changes that I see everytime that I go home... changes that are usually subtle... were a bit more obvious.

The babies at church are no longer babies... people are pregnant... my cousin is now DRIVING a stick... my relatives are going through a divorce... and my parents...

well, my parents.... are getting ... O.L.D. It just hit me... the way they converse...the way they lead their lives... It just hit me that they are definitely aging. and I don't mean that in a negative way...it just... seemed to whallop me, the fact that I'm in my mid 20s...that they are becoming senior citizens...

and that they are still providing for me instead of the other way around.

It's the first time that truly hit...HOME. and driving back, all I could think of was...

"they really are trying the best as they can."

really, to understand me... to accept what I want to do wiht my life... the fact that it will take time... and money.... that their current disappointment and uncertainties with their only daughter will soon pay off somehow in time.

it made me sad... grateful... and determined all at the same time.

I was utterly stressed at the thought of having to leave the bay this time around. that usually never happens. The thought of all the things on my milestone list... i won't lie, overwhelmed, still overwhelms me... but, I got a new dose of perspective this time around... yet another angle to ponder and consider...


sigh*...

growing up is hard.