as I always get when I'm alone on a weekend night. My relationship with my mom is definitely dynamic. We go from being best friends (we are equally hammish in public) to being mortal enemies, to the regular mother and daughter.
As I've gotten older, my Mom has definitely come to confide her more private thoughts and concerns...and while I cherish this candid intimacy, it's hard to be reminded more and more that my mom is what she is: a human being.
I could go on and on about our harmonic arrangement... but instead, I'm going to sort of "relish" and marvel at how large and empty my day felt after she spent only 48 hours with me in my apt. @ LA. I literally feel a little bit lost and homesick... and I am not sure if this is an accurate portrait of my current emotional state of mind... or if it's just a moment of weakness in tenacity.
외로움을 잘 타는 나. it's curious...as much as I am susceptible to loneliness... I'm so incredibly selfish with my alone time. It is a necessity. My friend and I were talking today on the phone about how incredibly awkward our 20s have been. I always thought that my 20s were going to be the best years of my life... but maybe that isn't the case at all...afterall, as pastor Keith has explained, the 20s are the formulative years... the years during which we explore our paths, our potential...the self-examinations, interminable... the disappointments and failures, constant... I guess to NOT feel anxious, to NOT feel lonely, that would be ... extraordinary.
which I long to be.
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2 comments:
I promise I won't make it a habit of always leaving comments on you post =P. But on that note, I find your entries really relatable.
I struggle similarly with you in terms of really battling through the roaring 20's... which includes one-to-many lonely moments.
But specifically through my own struggles (especially after moving to california), the most beautiful thing is happening to me. My dormant faith is coming alive.
I dread trucking through many aspects of it now, but later on looking back, I think that I will really find fulfillment from my 20's.
So I just wanted to encourage you with that bit. =]
sungho~ continue to leave comments~! i'm encouraged by them! :)
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