humbled

I have had a very very unmotivated week. I am (intentionally) behind on EG this week. (intentionally meaning that I know I am behind and yet I'm not doing anything about it~)

I will attribute my laziness and deliberate act of rebellion (?) to the fact that my best friend was in town and I had to play at the beach and stuff.

yes. my flawed logic has manifested itself as a HUGE, festering fever blister on my lip. Freakin' A.

That being said. I had a humbling moment today. I received a support letter response in the mail from an old samonim mentor of my mom's. She's always been sort of a god-grandmother to me. I would see her occasionally, over the years, and she would always marvel at how much I'd "grown." I have to wonder how it feels to see... i guess anyone, grow... intermittently. just patches and snapshots of their life. observing physical changes at an obvious level, and developments in their mental and emotional level on a more subtle level. I have to wonder what it feels to grow... older... weathering all the challenges in life, becoming a mentor to others... the gathering of peace, and the humbling of the acceptance of a world that is as transitory as it is cyclical.


anyway, more than the check or the promise of prayer, it was her letter that most moved me.

God. 죄송하고... 또 죄송합니다. 그리고 감사합니다. 제게 주신것은 너무 많은데... 제가 할수 있는건 ... 그냥, 주님을 향한 맘입니다. 근데 그것마자 잘 못하는 제 자신이 참 한심하고 부끄럽습니다. 더 많이 노력하겠습니다. 더 많.이. 하겠습니다.