A confession - a Psalm.

I can't do it alone. I can't break through the wall of self-entitlement, judgement and legalism. 

My thoughts are dizzying. My heart feels heavy. My ears are buzzing with emotions that are threatening to deafen out anything sound of spirit. 

I don't like this. It is new. 

I am frustrated. I am sad. I am angry. I am disappointed. I am afraid. I am ready. 

to. let. go. 

Because I can't do it alone, I lean more on my Lord. Because I am unsteady, He is my rock. Because I hate this moment, I love God more. I recognize that the more He blesses me with layers and complexity, the greater my need for Him. 

Father, is this your answer to my prayer? To want you more, to yearn for your Spirit, to be desperate for You? 

I eagerly await -- I eagerly await...