Tuesday, February 12, 2013

i can always tell

when I'm a bit fragile. well, besides the whole on the verge of emotional turbulence, I catch myself plunging into the rabbit hole of the meaning of my worth.

"what is my worth in this friendship?" "am I getting even footing with that person?" "do others view me as indepensible or dispensible?"

A sure sign that my relationship with God is on an even shakier ground that my security.

The positive thing I can take away? I notice it. I am uber hyper sensitive to it. I smell it in the wind of self analysis.

So, here it is again... I see it... waves of unrelenting doubts and questions, threatening to overwhelm me in the short distance from my emotions to my thoughts; my thoughts to my actions...

and my only shield against it is a whisper of a prayer I release moment to moment...

 "God. Stop me."

"God. I need you."

"God. Save me."




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