and so it is 2009~

Happy New Year!

and a landmark year finally comes to a close. I will always remember 2008 to be one blessed, incredible year. Lots of little private ones that all mount up to be one big occasion.

in review:

*my first new year having moved back home. currently unemployed. everyone is wondering what i'll do next. but they're glad to have me home... for now.

*I turned 23. and it wasn't so bad.

*my first time celebrating valentine's day. enough said.

*i worked at the container store.

*i went through my post college party/dating frenzy phase. fun but not so much in the aftermath.

*bought my first car! i am so in debt! but so happy!

*fell asleep at the wheel and got into my first accident. on the subject, got my first ticket ever for not wearing a seatbelt...in the PASSENGER seat. geeze.

*got myself a trainer, got fit. got lax. still slightly fit.

*bought a new snowboard, got to go boarding, got to feel comfortable on a blue slope for longer than 10 seconds.

*contemplated for the first time if i was in love. heard for the first time that someone was in love with me. both are scary and wonderful at the same time.

*loved being a PK genuinely and whole heartedly for hte first time. joined hte adult choir and translated Dad's sermons.

*my mother revealed to me how much i hurt her with my careless words and actions for hte first time. i am a dumbass.

*was surrounded by my beest friends for almost the entire year. totally unexpected. totally blessed. became fast friends with someone i saw in high school as a shallow asian gangster.

*went to the garlic festival for hte first time!

* MOVED TO LA. 'nuff said.

*went to church and was fed for the first time in a long time. no offense Dad, just can't really ujnderstand korean sermons as well.

*WENT TO DISNEYLAND. WOW.

*watched a gazillion movies.

*moved into my FIRST PERMANENT (for a year at least) post college apartment, walls included!

*felt like I could finally understand my Dad. huge.

*got a WII!!!!!!! weeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!

*return to ME being honest and blunt and confrontational with friends without fear of being smacked or judged.

*first time I saw a song being recorded at a music studio!

*i rode on my cousin's motorcycle. amazing and incredibly DANGEROUS!

*i saw amanda bynes. next to mandy moore and lee byoung hun, the closest celeb siting i've had ever.

*i learned how to cook kimchee jjigeh, and make yangnyum for bulgogi, kalbi, and galbijjim. maha.

*became a smoker. quit being a smoker.

*felt incredibly happy and content. totally lost sometimes lonely, definitely flawed and occasionally sexy. all at the same time.

*i was loved unconditionally by three dogs.

*realized that my family and relatives don't relaly understand why i moved to la. they are totally unconvinced that i'll make it as an actress. but they pray for me anyway. and secretly i think my mom thinks i'll make it.

*spent new years with best friends. with champagne. and wasn't at church. but felt God sent anyway.

*was in a love triangle. YUCK.

*is almost SO broke, she could smell the cardboard walls of her next home.

*took a hip hop class. and wasn't very good but oh well! :)

*had at least 3 cold sores. and phantom C returned 2x as worse.

*worked with Luis Saguar and co at the Jean Shelton Acting Lab. got totally humiliated by nasty ugly man, and then got uplifted by the rest of the class and rocked the impromtu scene to the core.

*never felt more aware that life, so far, has all have been one small puzzle piece connecting to another in the bigger picture. doesnt matter if one doesn't neccessarily connect to the other. the missing pieces will all fit in eventually.
~~~~~


2009. then. there are a lot of resolutions that I make. and then I don't keep. so i have JUST one:

BE ACTIVE.
which of course entails more than one definition of that word. :)

--be more spiritually active. i was so encouraged by the fact that I wanted to the pray the other day. it's reflective actually of how stressed and desparate i'm getting about finding a job. but whatever the reason, no matter how cliche it is to find prayer within times of hardship, i'm still encouraged and taken slightly aback by the fact that I still need and want to lean on God when there's nothing else to depend on. I need to build up my spiritual activities though... and be committed.

--be physically active. I don't just mean losing weight. I mean boosting up the endorphins, being healthy, and also, get rid of phantom C. enough of this fat tire business and end of hte year calorie allowance! and korean dramas IS NOT an excuse to be a fat ass. thanks.

--by occupationally active. i told myself, January was the month I was going to get headshots. that this year was the year I was going to find an agent. so. I . WILL. one small milestone at a time.

in terms of friendships and dating and such... i've always been an active seeker of both. but I will continue to work on being as honest and as mindful ... as purposeful as I possibly can. this was ht eyear where all the grandparents and aunts and uncles told me to find a man and that they were praying for me...yikes. turning 24 soon, doesn't help the single cause. but eh, 24 is no reason to settle down yet... ;).

so there you have it. 2008 in bullet points and 2009 hopefully summed up in a handful of resolutions. i can't help but feel anxious as I wait for my ride down to LA. I'm always a little uneasy to leave what I know to be the reigning comforts of the home i grew up in... this year will be one that will blow 2008 out of hte park, in terms of expectation, goals, finances (being broken that is :p), and everything else. I will hang onto faith if nothing else, and will swear by it if that's hte only thing holding me steady.

it's JANUARY 2009, baby. here. i. come.