Now picture Jesus...

Is he there with you?

It has become a very familiar question...one that my facilitators ask me during one of my heated inner healing sessions...

I, blessed with incredible depths of imagination, usually can. So far I have seen Jesus as a soother, Jesus as a pleader, Jesus as a protector, and Jesus as a peacemaker. None of those labels seem enough, but which ever did?

On my drive home yesterday, I was filled with grievances...."why am I driving home and staying there for so damn long??? Why is it that every single time I get back into groove at LA, I am somehow back at home, forced to contemplate why I SHOULDN'T be in a groove afterall..."

I was not a happy camper even after I saw three freshly bathed dogs barking estatically at the scent of me...and as soon as I placed my bags down...I was overcome at the sense of..."now what."

I apathetically picked a place out of the five usual places my Dad named for dinner....and afterwards was whisked into the duty of having to pick out a laptop for my mother... as all asians know...technology and asian mothers do not mix. Its either super hilarious...or super super delirious.

Anyway, to make a long two hours short, I ended up picking something out for my mom at the price of my sanity and sat there looking out the passenger window at the dreary night time on the way home....all I could do to keep from banging my head against that window was ask in my loudest innerhead voice:

JESUS. ARE YOU HERE??? WHERE ARE YOU????

...

He was there. Assuring me that He got me. Same old story, mother drives daughter crazy. But different ending...daughter for onces doesn't act out crazily in response.

Instead, I listened to the beats of the spotty raindrops on our car.

I am here for 13 more long days. Each day represents a battle won for team Jesus and the change he is incorporating in me.