mid 2013

its hard to believe how i am basically 28.5 years old.  already.

kinda sick actually.

as i do my mid-year self-review-check-in-watcha-ma-call-it... I can only marvel, first, that GOD is truly greater than all of me, all of my past, all of my future.

It's been an eye-opening past month... every time I feel like I can take a break from self-discovery, God brings something else to the table. I've got to admit, it's exhausting at times... to be reminded again about my imperfections and flaws... painful at first, and then always, redemption and hope.

i recently booked and shot my first national commercial. without boast, this past year has been fruitful. Not just 2013, but the past 12 months... i booked my first paid non union gig with a major star, got upgraded to an oncamera principal on a SAG shoot by miraculous turn of events, and now this... i should be celebrating! it IS a big deal. it IS success. there is PROGRESS!

but i'll be honest. I feel a little detached. a little hollow. and just tired. already wondering what's next or not next.

i am THANKFUL. i am. make no mistake, it's such big news that it doesn't quite feel like it's happening to me.

but in the end, what this all comes down to is this:

Only God can satisfy. In the end, nothing of this world can sustain me... fill the void I feel at times... makes me feel completely purposeful... not the national commercial. not the bestest of friends. not the delicious potential of an upcoming future....

none of it compares to the quiet, loving embrace of my Lord.

SO, these next 6 months... i continue to dedicate towards my personal education. It's not just funemployment. Not just about rest. I want to practice my music, act my heart out, journal through moleskins, and pray out my soul. I want my spirit to soar, approach others without an ounce of fear and regret, be honest to myself and to God.


Living it out. I guess that's what I do best~ ready, set,

action.